How did we end up here?

Was reading sep's blog the other day about her dad treating her mom and her for her 20th b'day and what it meant to her. Got me thinking about my own family. Honestly speaking, its been ages since we ever had anything fun to do as a whole family. I can only remember the times when i was 6 or 7 that my dad brought my mum out and they had a good time. Now, its fucking war zone at home. Coming home to verbal and physical arguments is not the way to bond a family and its no wonder that my mum wonders what happened to the 4 of us.

All i can say is that it definitely makes you think whether having a family is worth it 20 years from now or something. What if you and your spouse start arguing infront of your kids, what kind of impact does that have on them? i know my parents don't think about that, maybe its not their fault, after all it was an arranged marriage between 2 people who were in the 30's. Maybe they had things they wanted to do and marriage shoved those dreams aside and now they feel the regret. Maybe they had other people in mind and were forced to forget them. There are alot of maybes, but the cold hard truth is whatever that's infront of you. Cant wait for the NS, where i have to stay in camp. Only need to see them on weekends then.

Its not that i don't like my folks. I do, but i don't love them. I have respect for what they have done so far, but that's all. Only respect, no filialness. Pretty sad if you think about it, but i realise that there are others who are in similar or even worse positions but as they said in OB, your family does have a part to play in your personality and so, for better or worse, who i am is related to the shit that happens at home. And that's not an encouraging thought.